Wednesday, July 26, 2006

NATURAL MALE ENHANCEMENT IN A DARK TUNNEL

Armageddon
Looms
&
Bombs
Fill
Tombs
Because
War
Is
A
Beast
That
Wants
To
Feast
Upon
History
That
Again
Repeats
In
The
Middle
East
But
In
The
Rearview
Mirror
Lies
The
Lie of Iraq…
Iraq, Iraq…
No
Longer
The
Cradle
Of
Civilization…
Iraq, Iraq…
Now
A
Coffin
Of
Fear
&
Terror
Without
A
Clock.

Monday, July 24, 2006

WHISPERS FROM BONES



THE WAR MACHINE
IS QUITE OBSCENE

THE WAR MACHINE
IS QUITE UNCLEAN

BUT
THE WAR MACHINE
WILL NOT STOP

BECAUSE
THE WAR MACHINE
MUST BE FED

THE WAR MACHINE
MUST HAVE BLOOD

THE WAR MACHINE
MUST HAVE DEATH

THE WAR MACHINE
MUST HAVE LIFE

THE WAR MACHINE
MUST HAVE STRIFE

THE WAR MACHINE
MUST BE FED

THE WAR MACHINE
LOVES THE DEAD

THE WAR MACHINE
WILL NOT STOP

BECAUSE
THE WAR MACHINE
IS
ANGRY MAN.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

MIXED UP FRUITS AND VEGETABLES

A Cucumber
Loved to Slumber
And Listen to
Operetta.

A big Carrot
With a Parrot
Didn't want to
Share it.

A sweet Watermelon
Was a wanted Felon.

A baked Russet Potato
Listened to the Radio.

A green Lime
Liked to Rhyme.

The little green Peas
Always had to Sneeze.

A Cantaloupe
Liked to Jump Rope.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

MACHU PICCHU HAIKU






I wAnT tO wRiTe a
LiTtLe hAiKu On ToP oF
OLd MaChU PiCcHu

Monday, July 17, 2006

On the Death of a Louse

A Treacherous Thug
Hid under a Rug
And drank Malt Liquor
From a Pewter Mug.
He was Waiting for
The Wife of the House
To Watch her Beat Out
The Brains of a Louse---
Her Two-timing Spouse!
The Husband Walked In---
And then the Wife---
Who Watched the Treacherous Thug
Liquidate her Husband's Life.
After the Murdering was Done
The Treacherous Thug had to Run
Because the Wife pulled out an Enormous Gun
With which she Peppered the Treacherous Thug's...
BUN!

Friday, July 14, 2006

PREFERENCES

I like Rock and Roll more than I like Rap.
I like to Sleep more than I like to Nap.
I like a Shower more than I like a Bath.
I like Philosophy more than I like Math.
I like Corn more than I like Peas.
I like Rivers more than I like Seas.
I like Mountains more than I like Hills.
I like Vegetables more than I like Pills.
I like the Moon more than I like the Sun.
I like to Walk more than I like to Run.
I like Strawberries more than I like Peaches.
I like Forests more than I like Beaches.
I like Dogs more than I like Cats.
I like Mice more than I like Rats.
I like Coffee more than I like Tea.
I like to Hear more than I like to See.
I like Love more than I like Hate.
I like a Door more than I like a Gate.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

UNTITLED DATE

When I was just Sixteen
And
A Bagger Boy
I met a Girl named
Claudia Huffman
But
The Poor Little Dear
Had a Heart Condition.
Although
She was very Cute
And quite Hirsute
I took her out
On a Date anyway
To Hear
Andy Williams.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

WRITTEN AFTER WATCHING A GIRL COMB HER HAIR

By Pierre-Auguste Renoir

A young
Girl's Dream
Is to
Forever
Preen the
Feathers
Of her
Love.

Monday, July 10, 2006

PARAGON OF ANIMALS BEFORE THE KINGDOM OF PERPETUAL NIGHT

Seated Figure Contemplating a 'Great Tapeworm Masturbator' by DALI


Will a Sword of Heaven
Or Razor of Oblivion
End this World of Sighs?
Will a Sword of Heaven
Or Razor of Oblivion
Remove the Insane Root
(Of this great Stage of Fools)
From the Seeds of Time
Before the Crack of Doom?

Saturday, July 08, 2006

RHYMING MENU

A Lizard with a Lisp
Loved to eat Bacon Crisp.

A Pink Flamingo
Loved to eat Mango.

A Gray-Haired Rainbow Trout
Loved to eat Sauerkraut.

An Eel with a Limp
Loved to eat Jumbo Shrimp.

A Pugnacious Kangaroo
Loved to eat Slumgullion Stew.

A Capricious Octopus
Loved to eat Asparagus.

An Unshaven Gorilla
Loved to drink Sarsaparilla.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

ZEUS HAIKU

LOUD SNEEZES OF ZEUS
VIRUS FROM MOUNT OLYMPUS
GODS GET SICK LIKE US

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY

TODAY'S THE FOURTH OF JULY
IN IRAQ DEATHS MULTIPLY.
BUSH'S STAY THE COURSE
IS A MACABRE HORSE.
THE LAND OF THE FREE &
THE HOME OF THE BRAVE IS
NOW A TALL HANGING TREE
ABOVE A SHAMEFUL GRAVE.
WE HAVE SHOCKED & AWED SADDAM & IRAQ
BUT WE ONLY SHOT OURSELVES IN THE BACK.

Monday, July 03, 2006

ANIMAL COMESTIBLES

I saw a Mosquito
Eating a Burrito.
I saw a Butterfly
Eating a French fry.
I saw a Crocodile
Eating a Frog's Smile.
I saw a Bug
Eating a Rug.
I saw a Snake
Drinking a Lake.
I saw a Whale
Eating a Snail.
I saw a Kangaroo
Eating a Honeydew.
I saw a Polar Bear
Eating a Prickly Pear.
I saw a Dancing Octopus
Eating a Hippopotamus.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

SNOWFLAKE HAIKU

Winter's Bright Dance of
White Geometric Angels
In Chiffon Dresses